Let me tell you how confidence works! I'm so excited to tell you all about this amazing new science of self-belief! Just imagine for a moment that you've discovered something that would make you richer, live longer, smarter, happier, and more motivated. I'd love to know what you think this thing would be! Maybe you'll say, "How could there be such a good thing? It must be a fantasy!" Guess what? This amazing thing we discovered a long time ago is actually faith.

You might be thinking, "I know faith is important, but is it really that useful?" Let's take a quick look at a couple of studies.

In 2007, the lovely folks at Emory University did a study in which a group of students used a grip bar to measure grip strength. The researchers told one group of students that you were the stronger of the participants, and then told the other group that you were the weaker one. This was done to see how it would affect their confidence. As it turned out, the two groups weren't really comparable in terms of physical strength.

The results were truly incredible! The group with the stronger confidence had a whopping 30% longer grip time and less hand pain than the weaker group! This shows that having confidence really helps you to keep going for longer!

The lovely folks over at the University of Wisconsin also did a study where they applied some pretty intense but totally non-injurious heat to the arms of their volunteers. They provided the volunteers with handles half the time and told them that they could reduce the heat by simply holding onto the handles. As it turned out, the handle was a bit of a fiddle and didn't actually control the heat. During the experiment, the lovely researchers took an MRI scan of the volunteer's brain.

The great news is that as long as the volunteers hold the handle, their brain area that controls pain is inhibited. This means that as long as the volunteers believed they could control the situation, even if the actual situation didn't change, their pain was reduced. This suggests that having confidence can help to reduce pain.

It's also been shown that when you have confidence in your ideas, you're much more likely to take specific actions. If someone is unlucky enough to become seriously ill, it's so important to stay positive and confident in your physical condition. It'll help you live longer!

All these studies are showing us that confidence is truly amazing! It has the power to work wonders and have a great positive impact on our body, mind, and mobility.

I'm sure you'd love to know more about how faith actually works. So, you're wondering how you can boost your confidence? I'm so happy to tell you that the answers are in today's book! I'm delighted to introduce you to the author of this book, Ian Robertson from Ireland. He's the co-director of the Global Brain Health Institute. In this book, Ian Robertson has done a wonderful thing. He has gathered scientific research on confidence from various countries in the last decade, combined it with his own multidisciplinary knowledge of psychology and brain science, and taken us on a journey to understand the underlying logic of confidence in an all-round way.

I've divided this reading into three parts, which I think you'll find really helpful. We'll start with the first part, which is all about what confidence is. Then, we'll move on to the second part, which is about how confidence works. Finally, we'll wrap up with the third part, which is about how we can cultivate confidence.

Let's dive right in and start with the first part: what is confidence? This is a tricky one, isn't it? Faith isn't something that's totally alien to us, but it's a bit of a vague concept and it's tricky to pin down exactly what it is. But we all know that to truly understand something, we must first clearly define it.

The author takes a close look at faith and breaks it down so we can understand it better. He says that confidence is made up of two parts. The first part is called do-ability, which is the belief that you or someone else can do something. In cognitive psychology, this lovely belief is called efficacy expectancy. The second part is called "it will happen." This is the belief that by doing it, the expected change will happen. In cognitive psychology, this is called outcome expectancy, which is a really helpful concept to understand. And that's what true confidence is all about – combining these two beliefs: that you can do it, and that it will happen.

Let me give you an example. So, you've decided you want to lose weight! That's a great start. You've also decided to make a plan for yourself to eat a healthier lunch than usual, and just have a salad. The lovely "can do" part is asking you how confident you are in your ability to stick to the salad. We've all been there! You may be thinking, "If I only eat one salad at lunch, I'm probably going to have a really strong empty stomach after the meal and open the fridge and think, 'Oh my God, I don't want to see a salad anymore.'" Oh, I just can't do it, I'm sorry! That just goes to show that you could do with a little more confidence in that particular area. And then, you might find yourself asking, "How confident are you that eating salad will lead to weight loss?" Some people might think, "I'm just going to gain weight no matter how much I eat." That's not having enough confidence in the part that will happen, sweetheart.

So, when we combine these two types of beliefs – that it can be done and that it will happen – we end up with four mental states. I'll break down the consequences of these four states for you below, and I'll also include some of the fascinating brain science research that I mentioned in the book.

The first one is when we tell ourselves we can't do something, or that it won't happen. Let's imagine a scenario together. Your doctor has given you some advice. It seems that your blood sugar is a little high, so they've suggested that you exercise more and control your diet. Your mind wanders to the challenging scenario of exercising and you think, "I can't do it." Then you remember that there are several elders in your family who have pretty high blood sugar, so you think, "What's the point of exercising? You'll still get the disease if you need to." The lovely folks over at the University of Oxford discovered something pretty interesting. It seems that when we're in this psychological state, our brain's anterior cingulate cortex, which is responsible for motivation, might not be firing on all cylinders. This could mean that we're not feeling particularly motivated to take action.

The second one is, "I can't do it, but it's going to happen anyway." In this mental model, you take your doctor's word for it and recognise the benefits of exercise in lowering your blood sugar, but you're not quite sure you can do it. You remember that you've tried working out a few times before, but you got distracted and stopped partway through. The lovely folks over at Stanford University have discovered that when we're in this state, a part of our brain called the self-evaluation system, located in the middle of the frontal lobe, releases certain chemicals that make us feel a bit frustrated. This can make you feel pretty down, and even a bit anxious.

The third mental state is called "getting," and it's unlikely to happen. That is, you believe you can persevere, but deep down you know it might not work out. The lovely folks over at New York University discovered something pretty interesting. It seems that when we don't think our actions have any consequences, our brain's reward system sends us a little reminder that we might want to think twice.

I'm happy to tell you that the fourth state, called getting, will happen! This is the wonderful state of true confidence! You truly believe that working out is going to be good for you, and you also believe that you can stick with it. In this state, you are fully committed to your workout, with an inner desire to succeed and a high level of daily energy. You're ready to take on the world! The lovely folks over at the University of Michigan discovered something pretty amazing. It turns out that when we feel confident, our brains produce more dopamine. And that's not all! This chemical not only makes us feel good, but it also gives us the motivation to take action.

I bet you noticed that out of these four states, only the fourth, the state of having confidence, is what actually prompts action! In the other states, our lovely brains release some not-so-great signals that can make it tricky for us to take action.

So, to sum up, confidence is all about having the belief that you can do something, and that it will happen. And in this state of mind, people are more willing to take action.

With this in mind, let's have a look at that classic question: are confidence and self-esteem the same thing? Self-confidence is all about having faith in yourself. It's about believing that you can do it, and that the change you're hoping for will happen. Many people get these two concepts mixed up, but the authors say that self-confidence and self-esteem are very different, and even, in a way, opposite.

Let's start with what self-esteem is. In questionnaires, researchers often ask people how they feel about themselves. They might ask, for example, how satisfied you are with who you are. It's pretty obvious that self-esteem is an evaluation of how we've done in the past.

By definition, we can already see some differences, which is really interesting! 

Self-confidence is all about looking to the future and believing you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is more about looking back and appreciating what you've done.

There's another big difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence is all about taking action, while self-esteem can sometimes get in the way of us doing that.

A study at Northwestern University found something really interesting! It seems that when we have a high opinion of ourselves, it can actually stop us from taking real action. In this study, the lovely researchers asked two groups of students to evaluate themselves. The lovely folks in the first group were asked to evaluate themselves using neutral words, such as "quiet" and "spontaneous," and so on. The second group was asked to think of some lovely, positive words to describe themselves. They were encouraged to use words like "generous," "kind," "caring," and so on. "Generous," "kind," and so on.

Once the evaluations were complete, the researchers kindly asked the students to donate some money to charity. So, those who used neutral words about themselves donated $2.70 each, while those who used positive words about themselves donated just $1.07 each. Have you ever wondered why people who consider themselves "generous" and "generous" might donate less?

The researchers have come up with a great term for this phenomenon: "moral approval." It basically means that just thinking of yourself as a moral person gives you a lot of approval in your mind. You don't feel the need to prove your morality in real life, and you don't feel the need to do so.

So, to sum up, self-esteem is a kind of past-oriented self-evaluation. It can sometimes get in the way of taking action, because it's a bit too high. Self-confidence, on the other hand, is a future-oriented prediction. It's strong, and it encourages us to take action! I'm just wondering if they're not actually two opposite things? In real life, we often hear people say, "Don't have too much self-esteem. Look at yourself with a normal mind." I think I've found the answer!

Part 2

Great! Now that we've got that out of the way, we can move on to the next part, where we'll be looking at the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. Now, let's dive into the second part, which is all about how confidence works! Let's dive in and see how confidence comes about, grows, and ultimately affects our actions.

Let's dive in and see how confidence is generated! In this section, we're going to focus on self-confidence, which is all about having faith in yourself.

It's so easy to think of confidence when we see someone who is competent and does everything well. We also tend to think that if a person has a good family, they are also likely to be confident. And who can blame us for thinking that? After all, we all want our loved ones to be happy and confident, don't we? There are studies that really back this up! It's so lovely to see that, when other factors are kept more or less the same, children from good social and economic backgrounds tend to be more self-confident.

But is being competent and well off the whole source of self-confidence? I don't think so! Do ordinary folks just have to accept being less confident? The researchers made another interesting discovery. They found that many children born into low-income families are just as capable as their peers, and they also have a lot of self-confidence. I'd love to know where their confidence came from! The research found something really interesting. It seems that all of these individuals had one thing in common: they all disagreed with the statement, "What happens to me, I can't control." In other words, all of these lovely people felt that they had a sense of control over what happened to them.

And there are children who are really quite amazing, surviving in even worse situations with chronically quarrelling parents and poor family relationships. Do children from these families have to end up with low self-esteem? The good news is that if parents who argue with each other listen to their kids, at least some of the time, and let their kids feel like they have a say in how things are done at home, their kids will feel more confident too.

To put it another way, feeling in control is a great way to boost your self-confidence!

That said, I'm reminded of an experiment that I think you'll find really interesting. A researcher kindly offered two groups of options. One group had just one option, but it wasn't a bad one at all! The other group had several options, but none of them were quite as good as the ones in the first group. So, the participants mostly chose to choose between several options in the second group. The lovely researchers then looked at how people tend to put themselves in situations with lots of options because it makes them feel in control. This just goes to show that feeling in control is something we all need! It's also been found that people who feel in control of their lives are really happy!

And there's another thing the authors mention, which is a source of self-confidence. That's a pretty intense experience! It can really give someone a boost of confidence. A researcher looked into the lives of some truly amazing people, like Tiger Woods, the best golfer of all time. What they found was really interesting. Many of these superstars had experienced some tough times as kids. Take Tiger Woods, for instance. He had a pretty twisted family environment, didn't he? And we can think of some other examples, too. Like Elon Musk, who also had an unfortunate upbringing. And then there's Steve Jobs, who was abandoned by his biological parents.

The author says that if you've had a really tough time as a child, you'll find a way to store up a powerful force inside. You'll understand early on that things will eventually pass, even if they're hard and difficult. This group of people tends to have a more positive outlook on life. Even in the toughest of times, they're able to find the strength to keep going. That's why the author says that the furnace of adversity can refine extreme confidence – it's a wonderful thing!

Of course, this doesn't mean that major misfortune is necessary to produce a super elite, and it's not something we should try to copy. If you've been through something similar, I want you to know that what you've been through will make you more confident today.

Okay, now that we've taken a look at where confidence comes from, let's see how we can use it in different situations. Let's say, for instance, that we're playing basketball and we're feeling a little nervous against a strong opponent. How can we help you to feel confident right now?

The author says that a really important thing to do if you want to feel confident is to focus on a specific goal. When we're fully focused on the specific goal at hand, that's when faith appears.

I just wanted to point out that there are two elements in this condition. Firstly, it's all about focusing your attention. Secondly, it's about having a specific goal in mind. If we're not focused on doing this, our minds can play games with us, making us wonder what others think of us. I wonder if I'll get the gold medal? If you don't have a specific goal in mind, it can be tricky to feel confident. It's natural to feel this way when the goal seems far away or abstract. It's okay if you don't feel confident right now. We all have days like this! It's when we're totally focused on the goal in front of us that we can feel confident.

And the best way to help confidence shine through is to be positive! We all know that how we feel affects how we look, and it's also true the other way round: what we look like affects how we feel. The lovely folks over at the University of Pittsburgh did a little experiment where they asked the first group of participants to say out loud, "I feel anxious no matter what," while the second group of participants said out loud, "I feel excited." Guess what! The second group of participants had more confidence and performed better.

When we feel our heart rate increase and our palms get sweaty, let's try something different. Instead of saying to ourselves, "I'm anxious," let's say, "I'm excited." We all make mistakes! When we do, it's important to remember to be kind to ourselves. Instead of saying "I'm stupid," try saying "I'll do better next time." I'm sure you'll find that your mindset will change in the most magical way when you use the right words.

You might be wondering if this is a form of self-deception. Oh dear, I really messed up this time. I guess I just wasn't able to do it. The lovely authors say that confidence has a wonderful way of making us see things a little differently. It's like a lovely, warm, rose-tinted glass that lets us see things in a more positive way, helps us to ignore bad outcomes as they happen, and even gives us a little bit of a boost of confidence. But it's this little spark of hubris that gives us the courage to accomplish the seemingly impossible!

And when we do accomplish the goal, we feel so good! We are more confident, and when we are more confident, our attention is more focused and we are more willing to express positivity to ourselves. And so we are more confident...! You see, this is how we build a lovely little cycle of confidence about confidence, with just a little bit of tension at the start that makes things look a bit different from reality. As our confidence grows, so does our inner energy. And as our inner energy grows, things get better and better!

That's why the author says that faith is really a self-fulfilling prophecy. And it's also true to what they say: if you believe, you see! You see, it really happens!

The author also has an interesting discovery to share with us here. It's so interesting how our brains work! Did you know that the way our brains distort reality changes as we grow up? Our brains react in different ways at different ages. When we're children, we're more open to good news and less affected by bad news. As we get older, our brains become less sensitive to bad news, especially as we reach our golden years. This means that the elderly and children, especially the elderly, are more likely to see the world in a positive way.

And you might be wondering, when does the human brain react most to bad news? That's around the age of 40. It's totally normal to see the world in a less positive way as we get older. Around age 40, we tend to have more of a realistic outlook on life compared to when we're children or in our golden years. Of course, there are so many great things about reacting to bad news in a big way! It allows us to plan ahead and do the right thing. But as we mentioned earlier, confidence is a wonderful thing! If we try to look on the bright side and believe in ourselves a little, we might just get a better result!

Part Three

We've now explained how the confidence flywheel works, so let's look at the last part: how do you develop confidence? The author is really helpful here, giving several very specific and practical suggestions.

Firstly, try doing some lovely self-affirmation exercises. This just means talking to yourself and giving yourself lots of recognition and encouragement. The author has a friend who shared with him that he once talked to his brother about his dream of travelling around the world. His brother laughed at him and said, "Don't be silly, you can fit in." He was so upset at first, but then he tried really hard to talk to himself. I've been through a lot and I've come out the other side! After chatting to himself over and over again, he gradually started to feel a lot more confident again. And guess what? A researcher doing a brain imaging study found that when a person does a self-affirmation exercise, the brain area that produces positive feelings is more active!

And there's another wonderful thing about self-affirmation: it helps us to keep those pesky, negative thoughts at bay. This frees up space in our minds to welcome new possibilities and opportunities for change. Let me give you an example. If you smoke, you might be defensive about messages like 'smoking is bad for your health'. But if you do the self-affirmation exercise and tell yourself, 'I can change my smoking habit', you'll be more open to similar messages. And then, before you know it, you'll have kicked that smoking habit to the curb!

Secondly, it's really helpful to think about the people around you. Who can boost your confidence? Spend more time with those lovely people!

In psychology, there's a lovely little phrase called "hide the ladder." It refers to how some folks succeed in life by hiding their struggles, confusion, and sorrow. They create a kind of natural talent, a talent that seems innate, but is actually a clever illusion. The author calls these types of people "confidence destroyers". It's so easy to get confused by their illusions and lose your self-confidence! So, the author kindly reminds us to remember to remind ourselves when we're around such people. It's important to keep an open mind and not let them influence our self-perception.

Thirdly, just pretend that you can, and you really can! We all know how it goes. When we're feeling a bit down, our bodies tend to curl up and hunch over, and we cross our arms. But here's something that can help! If you consciously stretch your body at this time, such as standing up straight, straightening your shoulders and spreading your feet apart, you can really enhance your confidence. This stretching of the body is known as a high-energy posture, and it's a great way to boost your confidence!

I also came across a lovely Q&A with a social blogger. Someone asked, "I've recently lost my business and I'm feeling pretty low and unsure of myself. How do I get out of this situation?" The blogger replied with some great advice: put on your nicest clothes, clean yourself up, and walk with your head held high. Don't let anyone see that you're feeling low. You'll be able to get out of it! Oh, I think that's exactly what the author was trying to say!

And finally, the best advice of all is to just take that first step! In other words, don't worry about weighing up the arguments, just take that first step! The author says that when we're feeling anxious, we tend to hold back. We don't take the opportunities that come our way, and we miss out on new experiences and making things happen. This lack of confidence then makes us feel even more anxious, creating a negative cycle. The best thing you can do to break this cycle is to take action! The authors say that for someone who feels anxious, it can be easier to change how you feel by taking action than to make new actions with the help of feelings. So, my advice to you is this: get up, get moving and start building that confidence flywheel with some action!

I hope you find these suggestions on how to boost your confidence helpful! But, as we all know, the world is full of good things as well as bad. There are also some confidence-busting traps out there. And now, let's have a look at two more behaviours that can sometimes have a negative effect on our confidence. It's so important to avoid these behaviours in our daily lives.

Firstly, it's so important to remember that thinking you're old can really affect your confidence.

In one study, volunteers around the age of 65 were randomly divided into two groups. Half of them were told that the study was for people between the ages of 40 and 70, and that they were the older of the participants. The other half was told that the study was for people aged 60 to 90, and that you were the younger of the participants. After that, the researchers split the two groups in half again and asked them to read articles with opposite viewpoints. Half of the lovely people in the study saw articles that said that while getting older can lead to memory loss, it can be fixed with tools like memes. The other half saw articles that said that getting older leads to cognitive decline that just can't be fixed. After that, we asked them all to do some brain test questions.

Guess what! It turned out that the people who thought they were younger and saw the decline as something that could be improved with tools scored the highest on the test. And the people who thought they were younger and saw the decline as something that couldn't be improved scored the second highest. And those who thought they were older and that their abilities weren't something that could be improved had the lowest scores. This suggests that when we think of ourselves as getting older, it can make us feel less confident in our bodies. And when we think that our bodies are getting worse and there's nothing we can do about it, it can make us feel even less confident.

It's also been found that the more confident older people feel about themselves, the faster their gait speed and the more energetic their walking posture! The lovely folks in the study who agreed with the statement, "There are so many ways I can stay independent as I age," walked 13 percent faster than those who agreed with the statement, "Getting older will have an impact on my social life, which is out of my control." The lovely folks over at the research institute also spent five years studying 2,000 people over the age of 65. They found that the relationship between confidence and memory was a bit of a subtle one. It wasn't so much that a person lost confidence because of memory loss. Rather, it seemed that when a person subjectively believed that their memory was failing, it actually led to a deterioration in their memory. It's totally normal to feel like your memory is going a bit when it actually hasn't! In fact, it's often the other way round. Subjective memory decline comes before, while objective memory decline comes after.

So let's not worry too much about the psychological implications of getting older. Just remember, life is still long! You're still very young, and there are so many things you can do. And please, don't ever say "I am old"! And that means our faith won't be extinguished.

The second thing to remember is that when we put people into groups and make assumptions about them, it can make them feel less confident.

A university in the United States thought it would be a fun experiment to choose the 33 most difficult questions from a graduate school entrance exam and give them to black and white students in the United States. The students were also told that these questions mainly tested their reading and reasoning skills, which are all part of intelligence. And they told the other half of the students that the questions were about psychology. It was found that of those who thought the questions examined intellectual factors, black students did amazingly well, getting an average of eight questions right, while white students got 12 questions right. It's so interesting to see that of those who thought the questions examined non-intellectual factors, both black and white students got 12 questions right!

The researchers think that this is because when IQ is tested, it can make black students feel more stressed and cause them to doubt themselves. This can then lead to them not doing as well as they could, which unfortunately just reinforces the stereotypes.

Another fascinating study looked at stereotypes about women's visuospatial abilities. Researchers had men and women do visuospatial-type tasks at the same time and found that women didn't perform as well as men, which was a bit of a surprise! The lovely researchers used brain imaging to identify changes in women's brains while doing the tasks and found that when women do visual tasks, there is increased activity in the part of the brain that processes emotions, which can make it a bit tricky to think clearly. In other words, women were feeling the pressure of stereotypes, which was affecting their performance.

The researchers took the experiment a step further by letting the female participants know ahead of time that there are some tests that have found that women outperform men in visual-spatial tests. This was to help them feel more confident and to show them that they could do as well as the men.

It's so clear that stereotypes can really affect how we feel about ourselves and get in the way of doing what we're good at.

The book also talks about how girls are a little less confident than boys, which is totally understandable! For example, in 2017, some lovely researchers in the United States told a group of five-year-olds a story in which the main character was a very clever person. They then asked the children to guess who the main character of the story was, out of four adults. Of those four lovely adults, two were female and two were male. It's so interesting to see that most of the girls chose females, while the boys chose males! It's totally understandable! We're all more familiar with people of the same sex, after all.

But when the researchers tried the same experiment with six-year-olds, something really interesting happened! It's so interesting to see that most of the girls also chose males as the smartest! The researchers thought about this for a while and came up with an interesting theory. They believe that during the child's formative years, there were some prejudices that were implanted in the child's brain. And in a lovely British survey, researchers chatted with 3,000 managers in the UK and asked them to rate their level of confidence. It's so interesting to see that 50% of the female managers chose the 'I'm confident' option, compared to 70% of the men! The authors have a theory about why women's confidence levels are slightly lower than men's. They think that, as well as gender bias, it might be because women are more relationship-oriented. This means they're more likely to find the best in others and give them compliments rather than themselves. In a study, it was found that among boys and girls of the same age, girls were more likely to praise other children, while boys were more likely to praise themselves.

Even though these studies were only done in the UK and the US, we can still learn a lot from them! My dear fellow women, let's work together to break down the barriers of prejudice. And remember, while we're celebrating others, let's not forget to celebrate ourselves too! We have so much more energy than we can even imagine!

And now for the final chapter, my friends!

Well, that's it for this book, folks! I truly believe this book can do so much for us. It can inspire us, and it can also give us a boost of energy. This book is all about a topic that we can all relate to: confidence. And it's a topic that can really make us feel refreshed and energised!

There's a lovely saying that confidence is golden. But after listening to this book, you'll see that confidence is more like a magic hand that can turn stones into gold. It can help the weak become strong, give courage to the weak, and hope to the disappointed. It can help us break through all the difficulties and accomplish the seemingly impossible goals. In this book, we learn what faith is. It's all about believing in yourself and having a positive outlook on the world. It's about having the confidence to know that you can do it, and that if you put in the work, you'll get results. It's like wearing rose-tinted glasses that slightly distort reality, but it's that hint of distortion that allows us to do better and better in the cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies and ultimately achieve goals that may seem a bit ludicrous to the uninitiated – and that's okay! We've also shared some specific advice on how to boost your confidence and how to avoid having it eroded, which we really hope will help you!

And now for our final golden nugget of advice: remember, you become what you believe.