I'm so excited to tell you all about this amazing book I've been reading! It's called How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion. This book is about something we can all use: how to persuade someone!

Let me ask you something. When was the last time you tried to change someone's mind? And what happened as a result? Perhaps you and a friend had a difference of opinion and you tried to convince him. Or perhaps you had a little disagreement with someone you don't know online about a topic that's being discussed in the public sphere. I suppose even if you put irrefutable evidence in front of them to prove that they are wrong, they might not change their minds. But here's the thing. You can feel that they're even more convinced that they're right than before. And that can leave you feeling a bit powerless. How can this person be so difficult to change?

The lovely David McRaney, who wrote this book, has been through so many similar experiences himself. No matter who he was talking to, whether it was his loved ones or his online friends, he had tried so many times to persuade them. He had presented facts and reasoning to the other person, but sadly, all of his attempts ended in failure. David McRaney is a bestselling author in the field of cognition. His professional sensitivity and personal experience made him think deeply about something that many of us have wondered at one time or another: how can you convince someone? He did a lot of reading and research in psychology and neuroscience, and also did some fieldwork. And then he wrote this book!

When I saw the title of the book, I was really excited because I thought it would be a tool book that would tell us methods and techniques for persuading others. For instance, it offers tips on how to spin a good yarn, the eight major persuasive techniques, and so on. But after reading the whole book, I found it was so much more than I expected! It doesn't just look at different ways of persuading people, but also at some of the deeper questions about the human mind. For example, why is it so tricky for our thoughts to change? I'd love to know more about what might be getting in the way. And what can we do to change human thought?

I'd love to answer these questions for you in three parts. Let's dive in and see why it can be so tricky to change people's ideas! I hope you'll find this part helpful in understanding your loved ones and friends better. In the second part, we'll take a look at how a person's ideas can change. So, what are the paths? And finally, in the third part, we'll look at the most effective way to persuade someone to quickly change their mind.

Part 1

We've just shown you that our go-to way of convincing someone is to present facts and reason things out. However, this method doesn't always work as well as we'd like it to. It's totally understandable that the other person might not see things the same way you do. I'd love to know why this is. How come what we consider to be airtight reasoning has no impact on the other person? I'm going to suggest two explanations, and I'm sure you'll agree with them.

Firstly, the facts that each of us sees are only a small part of the overall picture. It's like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, where we each hold different pieces and naturally can't convince each other because we each think we have the key facts. It's so easy to understand why that happens! This discussion is about the limited nature of our knowledge. Secondly, even when we're looking at the same facts, we all see them in a different way. This is because everyone's view of things is shaped by their own unique values and life experiences. This argument is about how our perspectives are all shaped by our own unique experiences and values.

It's totally understandable why the other person might not recognize the facts as you see them. But there's more! The author also offers a fresh perspective. Have you ever thought about why the same facts can seem so different to us all?

I'd love to know what you think this means! Do you remember that famous quiz we did together? I'm going to show you a picture of a column with two curved lines on the left and right. These are actually the external contours of two side faces. I'd love to know, do you see a column or a face at first glance? Some people say this can reflect a certain psychological tendency.

This kind of image is called a bistable figure, which is a fancy way of saying it looks like two different things at the same time! The lovely thing about bistable states is that they allow two different states to exist at the same time in one object. It could be a pillar or a face – either could be right! When we first see such an object, our brain is like, "Oh, hey there! I see you, but I'm not quite sure what you are." This is all down to a clever little mechanism in our brain. It's called the pursuit of certainty, and it helps us to choose one of the multiple states to make things easier for our brains to process the information. It's so interesting how our brains work! They make different choices for each of us. So, when we look at a multistable graphic like this, our eyes see different things.

And there's another thing! Our lovely brains have another little mechanism that affects the facts we see. This is where the calibration mechanism comes in. A few years ago, a photograph caused quite a stir around the world. It showed an unremarkable-looking dress, but its colour was a little bit strange. Some people saw it as platinum white, while others saw blue-black. At the time, people were divided into two camps, with some seeing the dress as platinum white and others seeing it as blue-black. There was a lot of friendly debate! I'd love to know which side you were on! Both sides were pretty blown away by the other side's take on the dress colour. Oh, why did this happen?

Guess what! It's actually our brain's calibration mechanism that's at work. I bet you've had similar experiences! Even when the wardrobe is dark, you can still tell which sweater is red and which is green. Isn't it amazing how our brains can still tell what colour a car is even when it's dark? The good news is that even if the colour of things changes under the influence of light, the brain can still calibrate the visual system by correcting the influence of external factors based on past experience. This is what we mean by the brain's calibration mechanism, which is pretty cool, right?

It's so interesting how the colour of the dress caused such a fuss! It turns out the photo was overexposed, which made the pixels show multiple states under the influence of the exposure. After studying more than 10,000 lovely people, the researchers found that if someone works mainly indoors or at night, that is, if they are exposed to light, especially yellow light, for a long time, they tend to think that the dress is blue-black. This is totally normal! When we do visual calibration, our clever brains automatically remove the yellow hue, leaving a darker blue.

If you work outside a lot or often work near a window, your brain will unconsciously remove the blue tones from this dress, so you'll see it as platinum white.

Our brains are pretty amazing, aren't they? They're constantly working to keep us safe and healthy by activating certain mechanisms based on past experiences. Sometimes, though, they might not be 100% accurate, removing a little bit of the truth along the way. And there's more! The world is full of things with blurred boundaries and ambiguities. Our brains will also quietly process these kinds of things based on experience. This means that what each person sees can be totally different! This is why there's a saying that our brains lie! So, it's totally normal for the facts to be different for each of us. It can be really tough to change someone's mind by presenting facts.

Let's chat about another reason why it can be tricky to change someone's mind. It's because people are really attached to the groups they're part of. It's so important to remember that we're all social animals, and our views are deeply connected with our social relationships. If someone lives in a community that's pretty closed-off and shares a certain firm belief, it can be really tough for them to be changed.

Let's take a look at an example together, shall we? After the terrible events of 9/11 in the United States, there was a group of people who were absolutely convinced that the US government had orchestrated the attacks. They were absolutely convinced that the World Trade Center towers hadn't collapsed because of the impact of the planes. They believed that someone had actually detonated a bomb from the inside. These folks are just your everyday conspiracy theorists.

I wonder why what everyone else considers to be the truth is a lie to them. A lovely TV station planned a special programme to invite experts to chat with these folks and try to convince them. The lovely folks at the programme team invited experts from all sorts of fields, including logistics, aviation, construction, and more. They wanted to show these folks that the building could only have been damaged by something hitting it from the outside and that it couldn't have been caused by an explosion from the inside. Guess what happened! After chatting for a long time, Charlie was the only one who changed his mind. The rest of the people were convinced that all the experts were lying and even teased Charlie for being brainwashed and paid off.

I wonder why this group was so stubborn? The lovely folks at the TV station caught up with Charlie to have a little chat. Charlie was happy to tell us that he had actually been questioning this conspiracy theory for a long time. He said that he never said anything because he didn't want to betray the group. Poor Charlie! He'd never been accepted by any group since he was a child. He was a transparent person, and that made it hard for him to fit in. Later on, he took part in a group discussion and was welcomed as a member of the group. He felt that before he joined the group, his life was a bit meaningless and he was just an insignificant person. But after joining the group, he suddenly felt like he'd found his place and had this amazing insight into the truth of some things, which made him feel really great.

The author makes a really interesting point. It's that when someone like Charlie develops a strong sense of belonging to a group, any threat to the group's beliefs becomes a threat to their own existence. And that makes total sense! It's like old ideas in an organisation have a kind of gravitational pull, drawing new ideas back to where they started.

It's so interesting how, in our daily lives, we can see that people will wear similar clothes, listen to similar music, drive similar cars, and so on, to show that they belong to a group. It's a way of telling their peers, "Hey, I'm part of this tribe!" And at a deeper level of thought, in order to fit in with their friends, humans would rather stop thinking so much and just go for it, even if they make mistakes along the way. It can be so hard to change our ways, even when we know we should. Sometimes, despite all the facts and evidence, we just can't bring ourselves to shift our thinking. And that's okay! We're all human, and we all have our own unique journey.

And you know, I'd love to know why Charlie changed his mind later on. It wasn't just because of what the experts said, but also because at that time he joined other organisations, like outdoor sports groups. He felt that those organisations emphasised love and mutual understanding, which was more in line with his own values, and he was really happy to join them! So, as a result, he gradually stopped feeling like he belonged to this conspiracy theory organisation. He even started to express opinions that were different from those of the organisation!

The author kindly refers to the tendency to align one's views with those of the group as the tribal mentality, and this phenomenon as the tribal nature of truth. It's worth mentioning that this tribal mentality isn't just found among ordinary folks. It can also pop up among some scholars, intellectual groups, and even groups that claim to be the most open-minded. In that tribe, they're always questioning beliefs and criticising views. It may seem very open-minded, but in fact, questioning is also a core part of this group's culture. They feel a sense of belonging to the group by pursuing a sense of accuracy and intellectual pleasure. I suppose you could say that's also a kind of entrenchment. So, it's something that we all fall prey to from time to time. We all need to be careful not to let our thinking become too closed off.

Okay, let's chat about the third reason why folks find it tough to change their minds. It's totally normal to feel a bit nervous when we're questioned, isn't it?

Some fascinating research has been done to understand what happens in our brains when we're questioned. The lovely folks at the research center first looked into how sure a group of people were about their opinions. Let's take Thomas Edison and the light bulb as an example. How sure were people that he invented it? Then, they were presented with an idea that contradicted their own beliefs. For instance, the researchers kindly informed the subjects that studies had shown that the light bulb had actually been invented 70 years before Edison was born. The lovely folks at the lab discovered that the part of the brain called the pattern network was a bit quieter in the subjects who were being questioned. This lovely little area of the brain is mainly responsible for the relationship between us and others. This shows that when people are questioned, they tend to cut off their relationship with others and enter a state of self-protection and self-isolation. At the same time, the subjects' muscles became a little stiff and they secreted large amounts of adrenal hormones, just as if they had encountered a bear in the wild! This shows that when questioned, the subjects were feeling really alert and on their toes! This is actually an instinctive response that our bodies have when we encounter something that makes us feel threatened. It's called the 'fight-or-flight' mode in psychology.

It's so hard to change someone's mind when they're influenced by their experiences, instincts and the opinions of others, isn't it?

Part 2

I know it can be really tough to change someone's mind. Is it really impossible? The author noticed something really interesting! In the United States, people often have different views on social issues, engage in lively debates, and even find themselves at odds with one another. But there are lots of social issues where people have come together over time to find a way forward. In other words, lots of people have changed their minds! We can look to the examples of women's suffrage, the right to freedom of abortion and black equality to see how this has happened. What's more, these views didn't change gradually. They changed rapidly after a period of incubation, as if a tsunami had suddenly hit!

So, how did these views that seemed so set in stone change? The author introduces us to two very important concepts that help us understand how ideas can change. The first concept is called assimilation, and the second is called compliance. These two words might seem a little bit abstract, so let's explain them with a little experiment.

Two lovely psychologists at Harvard University used playing cards to test people's ability to update their ideas. The lovely researchers flashed images of playing cards rapidly on a screen and asked the subjects to identify the suit of the card and say the name aloud. For example, the subject might say, "Ace of Spades, Three of Diamonds." The subjects were completely unaware that the scientists had secretly added some unusual suits that they had never seen before. For instance, some of the cards had squares of different sizes, and so on. These little quirks were pretty tricky to spot! They were a good way to test how the subjects were seeing things.

At first, the subjects didn't notice these minor anomalies and still shouted out the names as they did with the normal playing cards. The poor subjects didn't realise that the scientists had actually timed their reaction, and found that it had slowed down! This meant that their brains had picked up on something being a bit off, but they hadn't changed their cognitive results. Later on, as more and more fake cards were mixed in, the subjects began to notice something was a bit off. They started shouting, "Oh my goodness, what is this?"

It's so interesting to see how the brain works! This turning point is really important because it's when the subject's brain finally acknowledges that the playing cards are not quite right. In other words, the change in perception is finally complete!

Up until this point, the brain noticed something wasn't quite right but tried to make the cards fit by changing them a bit. So, when what we see doesn't match up with what we expect, our clever brains will use what they already know to make sense of it. They'll even change things a bit to fit what they've seen before. This is called the assimilation process.

And when the unusual things reach a certain point, the brain finally says, "Oh, I can't explain this!" and creates a new way of thinking to make sense of the new things it's seeing. This is called accommodation.

In other words, assimilation is when the brain just accepts what it sees as part of what it already knows. Accommodation is all about the old cognition in the brain adapting to the new phenomenon in front of it and changing to fit the new situation.

Once the subjects had confirmed that the card was indeed unusual, the scientists were happy to see that their reaction time returned to normal. In other words, they got their cognitive balance back on track with the new cognitive model.

The authors think this experiment is a great way to show how we change our minds in real life. They've been using the assimilation model, but at a certain point, they suddenly switch to the compliance model. It's only after we've experienced a lot of unusual things that our minds are finally ready to embrace change. This also helps us understand why changes in social attitudes can seem to happen overnight. It's also interesting to see how people around us can change so much, and how relationships can change too. It can feel like these changes happen really quickly, like they're on a cliff! It's so interesting how these changes have already happened, but before they were presented, the brain went through a lot of assimilation.

I bet you're wondering where the tipping point is between assimilation and compliance. Let's take a look at another experiment, shall we? A political scientist ran a little experiment to see how people make up their minds when it comes to choosing a presidential candidate. Then, the researcher divided the participants into four groups and provided them with various news about the candidates, mixed with different proportions of negative news, at 10%, 20%, 40% and 80% respectively. This was to test how much negative news is needed to change the participants' opinions.

The results showed something really interesting! It seems that the groups that received 10% and 20% of negative news not only did not change their views, but also became more supportive of their chosen candidate. The researchers think this is because the negative information doesn't fit with the attitudes the subjects already have, which can make them feel a bit confused. So, to reduce that feeling of cognitive dissonance, participants have to work a bit harder to make sense of new information that might challenge their existing views. This can actually strengthen their views, which is great!

However, the group that received 40% and 80% of the negative news had a different experience. Their opinions were changed! After a bit of a mental battle, they eventually decided to go with a different option. Later on, the lovely researchers did some more experiments and found that the critical point for opinion change is probably around 30%. Of course, this is just a majority, and the specific percentage varies from person to person. For instance, some folks are always up for something new, so it's easier for them to change their opinions. The critical value is smaller for them. Then there are those who are more set in their ways, so the critical value is larger for them. I'd say it's about 30%!

So, after all that, we can draw three conclusions from the above experiments and analysis. Firstly, changing your mind is all about fitting in and being like everyone else. Secondly, it seems that the critical point at which assimilation turns into conformity – that is to say, the point at which people's minds truly change – is probably around 30%. And finally, before changing, people often find themselves stuck in a period of clinging to old ideas due to cognitive dissonance.

Right, we just talked about the assimilation-conformity model, which is a really important way for us humans to change our minds. But it's not the only one! There's another way to change someone's mind, and it's a bit more direct and intense. It's about giving someone a big shock that shatters their original expectations. It's like a rebirth through fire.

People who experience this kind of trauma will go in two opposite directions. It's so sad, but it's true. Some people find themselves sinking into a dark place, struggling to accept reality and even developing mental health issues. But the author says that most people have the amazing ability to repair themselves, and they won't go down this path. They'll naturally and right away look for new information from friends, family, and the internet to help them rebuild themselves. They'll be forced by the pressure of reality to update their understanding of the world and their own position, and ultimately accept reality. It's a difficult but necessary process. It's so inspiring to see how people can come back from something traumatic and become better than before! Because of the wound, there is a wonderful opportunity for new beliefs and a new self to grow. I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that lots of lovely, positive changes will occur in people.

However, this method is obviously too destructive and should not be used actively. The assimilation-conformity method we just mentioned is a gradual process that accumulates quantitative changes to achieve qualitative changes. This method takes a little longer to see results, but it's worth the wait! I'd love to know if there's a method that is gentle, has quick results, and can be used in concrete practice! And now, we're going to dive into the third method that can really make a difference in people's lives: deep persuasion.

Part 3

This is an amazing method that was created by a group of social activists in the United States. The lovely folks at this group of social organisations do a wonderful thing. They make house calls to chat with folks about a certain social issue and try to persuade them to change their minds. It might sound a little unusual at first, but this method involves visiting people at home without any prior trust and having a 20-40 minute conversation about a highly controversial social issue. The idea is to change people's long-held beliefs that have been formed over the years. It's a bit unusual, but it's definitely worth a try!

After months of research, some researchers made an amazing discovery. They found that 10% of people in areas that had experienced in-depth lobbying had changed their views on a social issue! The New York Times, The Atlantic, and other media outlets were so excited about this story that they published it on the front page!

So, what was it that these lovely people did to persuade this complete stranger in front of them to give up a viewpoint they had held for many years? The author was really curious, so he decided to join this social organisation. He followed the lobbyists on the ground for a while and even interviewed a group of senior lobbyists! After all that, he finally discovered the core secret of in-depth lobbying. Let me explain this in a simple way. In-depth persuasion is all about showing people where their thinking might be a little flawed. Once you've done that, they can convince themselves. In other words, the best way to persuade someone is not to try to change their mind, but to let them find the answers within themselves.

As we said at the beginning, although it might seem like everyone is living in the same space, in reality, they're all living in their own space, surrounded by a shield created by the filters of experience and the gravitational pull of the group. This shield can't be opened from the outside. It's up to the person inside to take the initiative and step out.

Let's take a peek at what goes on in a deep persuasion situation. In a deep persuasion situation, the persuaders don't actually say much. They're there to listen, and they listen well! They nod their heads in agreement, letting the other person fully express their views. Of course, they don't just listen. They have a helpful guide in the form of questions to steer the conversation in the right direction. I'm going to divide questions into two categories. The first is to get the other person to clarify their views, which is a great way to really understand where they're coming from. I'd love to know your thoughts on this. What exactly do you think? Could I just ask you to tell me a little more about that? The second type of question is to get the other person to give reasons. I'd love to understand why you think that way! I'd love to understand why you think that way about this matter.

These questions are actually designed to help you understand where the other person is coming from. These questions are really great because they can help us achieve three specific things.

The first goal is to gently show the other person that they might not know as much about the subject as they think.

The author says that most of the time, although people act decisively and seem particularly difficult to change, they actually don't know as much as they think they do. It's okay, though! We all have moments where we feel like we don't know as much as we think we do. A psychologist once conducted an experiment in which participants were asked to assess their level of knowledge about common things in life, such as toilets and combination locks. The lovely folks who took part in the study generally believed they knew a lot about the principles behind these things. But when they were asked to explain in detail how they worked, they were surprised to realise that they actually knew almost nothing about them!

It's the same with social issues too. It's so interesting how many people have strong views on things like healthcare reform, flat taxes and carbon emissions. But when asked to explain what the policies actually are, they'll be a little stumped, realising that their knowledge of the policies is far less than they thought. And when they realise they don't know as much about an issue as they thought, it's only natural to feel a little unsure: Oh dear, did I jump to a conclusion too quickly? Could it be that he's right after all? At this point, there's room for a new perspective to come in and make a difference.

The second thing you can do is help them see where their thinking might be a little flawed and point out the contradictions.

We've all been there! You're explaining something and as you're talking, you realise your own arguments start to contradict each other. And then you realised that maybe your logic wasn't quite right after all. This is totally normal! Our thinking is often not as clear as we think. In a persuasion situation, when the lobbyist gently guides the interlocutor back to the original line of thinking by asking questions, the interlocutor will often also identify any logical flaws. This is a great chance to help the other person think about their position in a new way.

This lovely technique has a name in psychology: the Socratic method. It's thought that this brilliant technique was first developed by the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates. The key to this method is to follow your own line of reasoning and then, gently, lead your interlocutor to a point where they realise that what they're saying doesn't make sense. Once they see that, they can correct it.

Let's say someone says that justice is about helping friends and hurting enemies. Socrates then asks, "If your friend does something wrong, should you help him then?" The other person replies, "Oh, goodness, no, I shouldn't." I see! So, justice is about helping friends do the right thing. You see, Socrates only asked a question, and the other person changed their mind.

I'd love to share another example from real life with you. A mother once said, "There is no daughter in the world who doesn't listen to her mother!" At this point, someone kindly asked, 'So when you were young, did you always listen to your mother?' The poor mother was suddenly at a loss for words. It was pretty clear that her experience showed she couldn't really stick to her own claim. This is the kind of questioning used in midwifery, and it often helps the other person to see the contradiction for themselves.

And the third purpose is really important. It's all about finding out what's really important to the other person and showing them how you feel about it.

The two purposes of the questions we mentioned above are quite rational, but the author believes that the best way to persuade someone is through emotion, not reason. We all have views that are shaped by our life experiences. And these experiences can often hide deep emotions. If we can find these emotions and gently challenge them, we'll connect with this person on a deeply emotional level. The author kindly quotes the philosopher David Hume: "Reason is the slave of emotion. If you want to change someone's mind, you have to connect with them on a heart level. "That's how you touch the softest place in their heart."

For example, when it comes to the legalisation of abortion, through a series of thoughtful questions, we were able to gain a deeper understanding of the key life experience of the person we were speaking with. A friend of the interlocutor had an abortion at a place where inexperienced people received abortions. Unfortunately, this resulted in heavy bleeding, and she ran to her house for help. That scene will always be etched in her memory, and it's made her realise that if abortion is allowed, similar tragedies could happen.

The lobbyist could tell that the interlocutor was a kind and open-minded person. After all, her friend had chosen to seek her out, which showed how much she cared. So the lobbyist saw her chance to show the other person a video. The girl in the video was just 22 years old and was feeling really sad about her unplanned pregnancy. She said that she still had her studies to finish and that she didn't want to live like this for the rest of her life – and I could really see where she was coming from! After watching the video, the interlocutor seemed a little shaken. The lobbyist saw her chance to explain a bit more: You know, we all make mistakes sometimes. It's only human! Don't they deserve a chance to make things right? So, by the end of the conversation, the interlocutor felt even more strongly that they had the right to a legal abortion, and their score went up from 5 to 7.

Another great example is the issue of black equality. Many conservatives have a whole range of reasons for disagreeing, such as wanting to maintain the traditional order and being worried about how it might affect them in their jobs. However, when the lobbyist asks the interlocutor, "Have you ever been excluded?" "How did you feel at that time?" Many interlocutors suddenly break down in tears. The lobbyist uses this kind of question to help the interlocutor remember a time when they felt excluded. It's a way of evoking their personal experience and making them think about how it felt. This helps them to empathise with the situation of black people, and ultimately to soften their position.

So, to sum up, in-depth persuasion is not about being forceful and trying to force your opinion down someone's throat. It's all about listening – asking questions, looking for the little bits of information that might help you understand someone better, and really listening to how they feel. At the end of the day, the best way to persuade someone is to persuade yourself first. It's all about gently guiding someone's thinking or appealing to their emotions. The goal is to make them feel that they should change, because that's what we all want! It's totally up to him whether he wants to make a change. And that's how we succeed together!

I'd also like to share a few tips that I've found really helpful when doing in-depth lobbying. They can really help to create a positive field for in-depth persuasion. I'm sure you'll find these tips really helpful when you're trying to persuade or communicate with others in your everyday life. Let's go through them one by one, shall we?

Firstly, it's really important to think about how you want to come across to others. Research has shown that people will evaluate the speaker in three ways: first, whether the speaker is professional, second, whether the speaker is trying to deceive us, and third, whether the speaker fits in with the group we identify with. So, if you want to win someone over, make sure you come across as professional, be sincere and show them that you're on the same wavelength.

And don't forget to bring some enthusiasm to the atmosphere of the dialogue! From the moment the lobbyist arrives until the very end, everyone should treat each other with the utmost enthusiasm. After all, because of the other person, the day has become better! If you're enthusiastic and friendly, the other person will feel it too! It'll help you to win them over.

And there's more! When it comes to speaking skills, research has found that the best way to speak is to first understand the other person's point of view, and then go on to share your own. This shows you've thought about what the other person is saying and you're ready to listen to them. This will help the other person to be more open to your point of view.

When it comes to persuasion, nothing beats face-to-face communication in the media! The lovely author says that research has found that newborns show a preference for human faces from the moment they come into the world. This shows that humans are naturally drawn to human faces! It's also been shown that when we're communicating face-to-face, our brains release oxytocin, which makes it easier for the other person to accept our point of view. If you're not face-to-face, but using video conferencing or other forms of communication, your brain doesn't produce as much oxytocin. So, if you want to convince someone, it's best to meet up in person and have a chat.

And that's a wrap! We've covered so much together, so let's take a moment to recap. So, we've been thinking about this question a lot: how do you convince someone? And around that question, we've looked closely at why it's so tricky to change how we think as humans. We've learned that everyone lives inside their own little bubble, influenced by their own experiences, the opinions of others, and their own personal filters. We've also looked at the ways in which human thinking can change, and there are three main ways. The first path is assimilation, which is also known as the conformity model. The second path is to be reborn through a great shock – it's a bit of a shock to the system, but it can be really effective! The third path is the most actionable one, and it's really quite simple! All you have to do is use skilled and deep persuasion to change the other person's mind. The heart of deep persuasion is to give the other person the space to fully express themselves. This helps to reveal any gaps in their thinking or the deep emotions behind their opinions. With guidance from the persuader, they can then come to their own conclusion.

I'd like to end this audiobook by sharing a little bit of advice from the author. The author encourages us to think carefully before using any persuasion techniques we've learned. Why is this important? Well, influencing the thoughts of others is a very powerful ability. When we realise we have this ability, it's natural to want to use it. But the author reminds us to think carefully before we do so.