Adam Grant is the youngest tenured professor at the Wharton School of Business, and he's doing a great job! He currently teaches organizational behavior at the school. He's been a senior consultant to some pretty impressive companies, like Google, IBM, and Citibank. He's also worked with the United Nations and the US Army, Navy, and Air Force. And he's a top scholar in the fields of successful research and work! Adam has published more than 50 articles in well-known media outlets like the Harvard Business Review. His research has also been featured in some of the most prominent newspapers, including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and Time.

I'm so excited to tell you all about this amazing book!

The author takes us on a journey to uncover the motivations of the most successful people. Along the way, we'll meet real-life characters who will show us how they achieved their goals. And we'll learn some amazing new ways to make success last!

The book's main idea is:

We often believe that the path to personal success lies in hard work, talent, and a little bit of luck. Adam Grant shows us something really special in his amazing book. He shows us that success depends a lot on how we deal with others. People who know how to give more often get more, and it's a wonderful thing!

I'm so excited to share with you the main points of this amazing book!

1. Givers are most likely to fail, but they're also most likely to succeed!

It's totally understandable that in the workplace, many people are reluctant to be givers. We all worry about being seen as weak or naïve, and we're aware there are risks involved. It's only natural to worry that we'll be taken advantage of. But don't worry! You can completely put these fears to rest. It's a common misconception that givers fail more than takers or mutualists. In fact, it's the givers who succeed the most! We tend to focus on their failures, but we often forget about their successes!

Let's talk about getters. They tend to think that their own interests are always more important than anyone else's. They believe that the world is a competitive arena where the strong prey on the weak. It's a sad way to see the world, but it's important to remember that there are many other ways of looking at things. They usually think, "If I don't take care of myself first, no one will take care of my interests."

Now, let's talk about givers. They're all about looking out for others and what they can get from them. They're always happy to lend a hand, as long as it's a win-win for everyone involved. They're even sometimes willing to go out of their way to help! Of course, being a giver doesn't require anything extraordinary. It just means focusing on the interests of others. The lovely folks over at Yale University have done some fascinating research into how most of us behave in our closest relationships, like marriages and friendships. It seems that most of us are givers at heart!

I'd say it's somewhere in between, and that's a good thing! They try to find a happy medium between giving and receiving. They believe in treating others fairly. They help others while also looking out for themselves, and they expect something in return. They believe in the idea of "quid pro quo," and their relationships are full of fair deals.

2. The wonderful thing about givers is that they create value and make the cake bigger, so that everyone in the team benefits.

While others are grabbing value, it seems like givers are giving it away! And they're actually creating value for the collective good! They're always there to help out with the toughest tasks, and they really make a big impact on the team. And the best part is, they don't just make themselves successful — they also bring others along with them! And it just keeps on going!

It's so true! When everyone wants you to succeed, you're more likely to succeed. If you don't have any enemies, it'll be even easier for you to succeed!

Let me give you an example. George Meyer, the brilliant mind behind The Simpsons, often comes up with amazing ideas for the episodes, but he doesn't usually write the first draft, which is the most valuable for the writer. Instead, he takes on the tasks that everyone tends to avoid, helping people to revise or rewrite. This is the task that can bring the greatest benefit to the team, but it may not necessarily benefit him. However, most Americans agree that Meyer is the driving force behind the show's success.

Inspiration: Geniuses are often like that, aren't they? They tend to be extractors, drawing on the intelligence and energy of others to fuel their own brilliance. Genius makers, on the other hand, are the opposite. They're givers! They use their own intelligence to help others shine.

Here's another helpful hint! The great thing about givers is that they have this amazing ability to bring together relationships that have been on the back burner and give them a new lease on life.

Dormant relationships are those lovely people you've met or known before, but who you've lost contact with for a long time. It's amazing what a difference it makes when you reactivate dormant relationships! The energy they generate can be enormous.

It's so important to have a strong network! It's not just about having great relationships with your close friends and colleagues. It's also about maintaining those weaker relationships with people you meet casually. It's so interesting what research in the field of sociology has shown! It seems that people benefit more from weak relationships than from strong ones. Weak relationships are great for getting information!

Let me give you an example. It's always great to get advice from someone you used to work with, even if you haven't spoken in a while. Not only do you get some great tips, but they're often more valuable than advice from your current contacts. That's because an ex-colleague is more likely to offer new perspectives and ideas.

And here's another great tip! When you give to others, you'll gain prestige and influence through what's called "powerless communication."

We used to think that being assertive was the way to gain influence. After all, it's a confident way to take control of a conversation and steer it in the direction you want. But that's not quite right. This dominant style of communication can be risky, so it's important to be careful. This is especially true if the other person doesn't really trust you. They'll be very resistant if you show a strong desire to dominate.

On the other hand, "weak communication" might seem a bit vulnerable at first, but someone who's relaxed and open from the start is not afraid to show their vulnerability. The nice thing about the other person is that they're not constantly worried that revealing their weaknesses may damage their prestige.

Here's a helpful tip: Instead of answering questions, try asking them. Instead of speaking up, take a moment to think before you speak. Express yourself with less certainty and more tentativeness. Admit your weaknesses instead of trying to show off your strengths. Ask for advice instead of imposing your views on others.

3. I think there are a couple of common misconceptions about givers that I'd like to clear up.

The first one is that people with a high affinity are givers and people with a low affinity are takers.

Oh, that's not quite right!

It's so important to remember that giving and taking have nothing to do with whether or not someone is sociable. It's all about their motives and values. There are four possible combinations: sociable givers, sociable takers, unsociable givers, and unsociable takers.

I'd say that sociable takers are the most deceptive. They often have a double-sided personality. They'll flatter those above them and exert pressure on those below them.

They use their leadership skills and desire for control on their team members, while being surprisingly respectful and obedient towards their superiors. Unfortunately, this can also lead to them being promoted too quickly, but it can also cause problems with their colleagues.

I'd like to clear up a second misconception. I truly believe that givers will definitely succeed!

Oh, that's not quite right!

It's a sad fact that, compared to takers and mutualists, givers are more likely to fail.

Both are givers, but there's a big difference between those who succeed and those who don't. Those who don't succeed only benefit others and not themselves. They're selfless givers. Those who succeed benefit others and themselves.

I'm happy to say that givers who benefit others and themselves are the type of people who are most likely to succeed! They're more likely to find happiness and value in giving than gainers and mutualists. And they're less likely to burn out than selfless givers. They may not seem as altruistic as some, but they're actually very calm and resilient. This helps them continue to contribute more over the long term, which is really admirable!

Now, let's dive into the numbers! Just 100 hours of volunteering can bring you so much vitality, while being relatively low in terms of consumption.

I just had to share the book's golden quote with you!

Givers aren't always the friendliest or selfless people, but they have their own reasons for giving. We all have our own dreams and aspirations, and it's natural to want to succeed. In fact, successful givers are often more ambitious than takers or mutualists. They just go about achieving their goals in their own unique way.

2. It's so sad when someone succeeds at the expense of another person. The good news is that when a giver succeeds, it has a wonderful ripple effect, making it easier for those around them to succeed as well. The wonderful thing about givers is that they create value for others. They don't just take value from others, they give it too! "If everyone wants you to succeed, you are more likely to succeed, my friend!" If you have no enemies, success will be even easier for you!

3. It's totally understandable that some folks might be afraid of being seen as weak or naive, which can stop them from embracing the giver's approach in the workplace. Even if they live their lives according to the values of the giver, at work they choose the mutually beneficial style, striving to balance giving and taking. It's so common to feel this way! We're often too afraid to ignore our better instincts because we're worried about looking foolish.

4. It's so interesting to see how the audience responds to different speakers! When a specialist and a mediocre person give a speech, the audience clearly prefers the specialist. Then the two people do the same clumsy action and yell, "Oh my goodness, I spilled coffee on my new clothes!" The results show something really interesting. When the mediocre person shows clumsiness, the audience dislikes him even more, no matter what he does. But when the specialist shows clumsiness, the audience likes him more. This is because the specialist is very human. This is what we call the psychological loss of control effect.

5. It's so lovely when people who have helped you are happy to continue helping you, isn't it?

6. Altruistic givers are some of the kindest people you'll ever meet. They're also very generous and have low egoism. They're so generous! They'll give their time and energy regardless of their own needs, and pay a price for it. Altruistic giving is a form of altruism that can sometimes cross over into unhealthy territory. When we're so focused on helping others that we neglect our own needs, it's time to take a step back and give ourselves some TLC.

7. Most of us believe that treating ourselves to something nice will make us happier. But here's the thing: if you spend money on yourself, your happiness won't change. But here's something that will make you smile: if you spend money on others, you will be happier! This is a wonderful way to give! You get to choose who to help, which can brighten your day and do you some good. Economists have a lovely term for it: the "warm glow of giving." Psychologists have a similar idea: the "helper's high."

8. Psychologists have discovered something really interesting! It turns out that the best negotiators are not just gainers, but also altruistic and self-interested givers. They pay close attention to what's important to everyone involved and work hard to find solutions that benefit everyone. They don't just take value and give it away. They give because they want to make the cake bigger so that when it's time to divide it up, they can keep a big enough piece for themselves.

9. I've often wondered if women are more likely to be givers than men. The lovely Elinor Eastman, a psychologist at Northwestern University, has done some fascinating research into this very topic. What she found is that men and women are equally likely to be givers, but they differ in the way they give. It's so lovely to see how women tend to give more than men in close relationships! Men, on the other hand, are more likely to behave as givers when dealing with strangers.

And finally, our tenth question! I wonder if a group of Manchester United fans would be willing to help a stranger who was in pain after slipping on the grass? The answer is really interesting and depends on what he's wearing! When he's wearing an ordinary T-shirt, only about a third of people will help. But when he's wearing a Manchester United team T-shirt, a whopping 92% of people will help! A Manchester United T-shirt is like a little bond that makes us all feel like we're part of one big happy family. It's like we're all in this together, and if we help someone, it's like we're helping ourselves because we're making the whole group better.

11. Have you ever wondered why we sometimes underestimate the number of people willing to help? It's so easy to forget that when we ask for help, we're not just considering the cost of saying yes, but also the cost of saying no. We all feel a bit embarrassed when we say no to a small request for help. It can be uncomfortable, and it can make us feel guilty.

12. We all have different ideas about what success means. For some people, success is about doing better than others. For others, it's about finding a balance between what you achieve and being fair to others. And for some, success is about doing your best and having a positive impact on others.