The book is written by the wonderful Dr. Louann Brizendine, who is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Director of the Women's Emotional Hormone Clinic at the University of California. She has been an internist and psychiatrist for over 30 years and has nearly 20 years of research on the female brain. She even established the first clinic in the United States to study and treat women's brain function!

Today, we're chatting about the book The Female Brain. It's all about how the special structure of the female brain affects how women think, value, and communicate. It also dives into the physical and mental needs of women, gender relationships, the physiological changes that happen during menopause, and other important topics.

In today's world, it might seem a little out of step to read a book about how men and women's brains are inherently different. However, the authors kindly point out that while some people wish there were no differences between men and women, the biological reality is that there is no such thing as a gender-neutral brain. It's not good for anyone to pretend that men and women are the same. It can be harmful to both men and women, and ultimately to women.

It's so interesting how science is showing us that gender differences are not just shaped by society and culture. It's true that men and women are different in so many ways, including in their brains! They have different structures, chemicals, genetics, hormones, and functions. For example, male and female brains are differently sensitized to stress and conflict. Isn't that interesting? And the two sexes also use different brain regions and circuits to solve problems, process language, and experience emotions. For example, it's not just that women remember the details of an argument that men forget. It's also because of the way their brains are structured. On the other hand, the amygdala, which registers fear and triggers aggression, has a much larger processor in the male brain. This is why sometimes men can go from being calm and unperturbed to suddenly raging at each other in a matter of seconds.

If you're a woman reading this book, it can help you understand how your life is shaped by the chemicals in your brain and how hormones can affect you in ways you might not have considered. For men, this book can also help you understand more about how women think and behave. You'll gain insights into your partner, mother, daughter, and female friends. You'll also learn how to get along better with them.

Let's take a journey together, starting with a woman's life as a timeline. We'll explore how her brain changes from birth, through adolescence, adulthood, and then into middle age and old age. Along the way, we'll discover how each of these changes affects her thoughts and life.

Okay, now we're officially getting into the book!

Let's start at the beginning of life and take a peek at what the female brain looks like at birth.

It's truly amazing how nature works! Did you know that female is nature's default gender setting? It's true! And it's so interesting that every fetus's brain looks like a female until it's 8 weeks old, no matter if it's a boy or a girl. Around week 8, something pretty amazing happens! If the fetus is male, there's a surge of testosterone in his brain. This is a really interesting process because it kills off some cells in the brain area responsible for communication. But that's not all! More cells grow in the sex and aggression centers, and the brain transforms into a male brain. If the fetus is female, it's a different story! There's no surge in testosterone, and the areas of the fetal brain responsible for communication just grow and grow. This means that the female brain has larger communication centers than the male brain.

When a sweet baby girl is born, one of the first things her amazing female brain does is study human faces! It's so lovely to see how baby girls are just naturally drawn to observing people's expressions, while baby boys are more inclined to explore the world around them. They learn so much about themselves by observing how others react to them. It's a way for them to understand whether they're likable and valuable. It's so sweet how little girls can't stand cold expressions. They really try to get reactions to others' expressions! Even as adults, women still have this wonderful instinct! For example, when they meet a man who doesn't express his feelings very well, they may be committed to getting a response from the other person.

Girls are also super sensitive to people's faces and have amazing brain circuits for reading meaning from people's expressions and tone of voice. This helps them understand others' social identities really early on. A study at Stanford University looked at 12-month-old boys and girls and found some interesting differences in how they like to observe the world around them. In this experiment, we invited children and their mothers into a room and asked them not to touch a toy. It's so interesting to see how different girls and boys are! In this experiment, few girls would touch the toy, and girls looked back at their mothers' faces much more often than boys. They were really looking for expressions of approval or disapproval on their mothers' faces. Boys, on the other hand, tend to walk around the room and rarely look at their mothers' faces. They often touch toys even when their mothers yell at them, "No."

It's in girls' nature to be better at reading facial expressions and recognizing emotions in their tone of voice than boys. They're also better at reading the emotional tone in the human voice. It's so lovely to see how baby girls are more likely to empathize with their mothers and are more sensitive to the pain of others. Even as an infant, a girl can understand her mother's slightly urgent voice and know that she can't go through a certain drawer. With a boy, you have to physically restrain him to stop him from opening that drawer. It's not that he's ignoring you on purpose, but he might not be able to hear the same tone of warning as you.

From an early age, a little girl can sense if she's being listened to and if others are taking her seriously. It's so important to her to feel heard and taken seriously! Even though her language skills aren't quite there yet, she totally gets more than she can say! It would make girls feel so much better if adults would listen to them more attentively.

It's a fascinating question, isn't it? Why did evolution program girls with such excellent communication and emotion recognition skills? Maybe it's because, over the long course of evolution, these skills have been really important for female survival. If you can read facial expressions and tone of voice, you know what babies need. You can even predict what a larger male is going to do! And you need to be on good terms with other females so that you can band together to fend off others if necessary. Even if this may not be as important in the 21st century, it's written in the female genes, and that's okay! And so, even today, girls are still very much concerned with maintaining harmonious relationships. They love to play house, play games together, build friendships, and avoid conflict. It's just a different story with boys. They're not so much into conflict. Boys' brains are formed by being soaked in testosterone, which also means they don't seek out social connections as much as girls do. It's also worth noting that autism, or autism spectrum disorder, is eight times more prevalent in boys than in girls. This is thought to be due to the excess testosterone in their bodies, which can affect the development of certain brain circuits responsible for emotional and social sensitivity.

It's true that the structure of the brain that girls are born with shapes their behavior to some extent. But here's something really interesting! The environment that they're exposed to can also affect their neurons and brain mechanisms. As they grow and play, children learn the customs of their gender through observation and interaction. Wendy, a lovely mother, told us that when her daughter first tried to slide down the slide, she immediately looked back to her for permission. If her mom showed she wasn't happy about it, she'd probably stop. Wendy tried to hide her worry but gave her daughter a look of approval. Her daughter slid to the bottom of the slide, her face beaming with pride and excitement as she ran to her mom and gave her a big hug.

However, if you're a parent of a little girl, it's also good to know that girls aren't always well behaved and can sometimes be a bit mischievous. It's true that little girls don't usually show physical aggression like little boys do. But they can sometimes become a bit like little tyrants to get what they want, bless them! It's also important to remember that girls can be quite feisty sometimes! She might let out a little scream if you don't get her way, or she may get a little upset if you ignore what she says at the dinner table. Girls have a hard time when they're left out of the loop, so it's important to make sure they're included in the conversation as much as possible. Because her brain has been hardwired over millions of years to associate exclusion with death.

As she grew into her teens, the girl celebrated her teenage years. Adolescence is a time of restlessness, when a teenage girl's brain receives a new surge of hormones, and being attracted to boys becomes a big deal. It's a time of exciting changes! Their brains are going through some big changes! They crave independence and self-affirmation, and conflicts with others begin to increase. This is a really important time for parents to understand the changes that are happening in their daughter's brain. It's so important to support your daughter's self-esteem and well-being during these years, so you can help her through this tricky time.

It's totally normal for adolescent girls to become moody and rebellious because their brains are saturated with high levels of estrogen and progesterone. It's totally normal for these hormones to surge when you're going through your period. It's so interesting how our bodies change every day and even every week! For example, our brains change shape depending on the hormones we're producing at the time. This can affect our moods and behaviours.

The time between the start of your period and the first day of the next one is called a menstrual cycle. The first and second weeks of your menstrual cycle are known as the estrogen phase. This is when your body produces more estrogen, which makes your brain feel more relaxed and sharp, your thinking clearer, and your memory stronger. By about day 14 of the cycle, when ovulation occurs, the ovaries begin to produce large amounts of progesterone, which reverses the previous effects of estrogen. Progesterone is a wonderful hormone that calms the brain, but by the last few days of the menstrual cycle, its levels suddenly plummet, and the calming effect disappears. This can leave the brain feeling restless, stressed, and irritable. It's totally normal for many women to feel a bit moody and stressed before their period, which is also known as PMS. It's so interesting how different we all are! While 80% of women only feel slightly affected by the monthly hormone changes, 10% say they become very nervous and easily upset.

It's so interesting how many parts of the female brain are affected by estrogen and progesterone! These hormones even impact parts like the hippocampus, hypothalamus, and amygdala, which are responsible for controlling emotions. And it's not just during the menstrual cycle — these effects continue through menopause. The wonderful folks over at the Pittsburgh Psychobiology Research Center took a close look at young folks between the ages of 7 and 16, testing their stress responsiveness and daily cortisol levels. The study revealed some interesting differences between how boys and girls experience stress. It seems that girls tend to be more affected by relationship-related stress, while boys are more concerned about challenges that target their authority. It's so important for teenage girls to feel liked and to be able to maintain their social relationships. Unfortunately, relationship conflict can really take a toll on their stress systems. And teenage boys need to be respected and feel like they're at the top of the male hierarchy.

This might just explain that classic question we've all heard before: "Why do girls always go to the bathroom together?"

It's just not something boys can picture themselves saying to another boy: "Hey, want to go to the bathroom together?" Guess what? It's true! Girls like to go to the bathroom together, and there's actually a biological reason for this behavior. During those tricky teenage years, a girl's brain produces lots of estrogen, which activates oxytocin and some of the circuits responsible for conversation and socialization. It's so lovely to see how making connections through conversation activates pleasure centers in a girl's brain! And sharing secrets activates these centers even more intensely, giving oxytocin and dopamine a surge that brings pleasure and happiness. Girls who go to the bathroom together are chatting, sharing secrets, and giggling together. It's a great way to build close relationships with their friends!

It's amazing how language can be the glue that holds girls together! It's so lovely to see how women love to chat and listen to each other! Guess what! On an average day, girls say two to three times more words than boys. And even a 20-month-old girl has two to three times the vocabulary of a boy! It's totally understandable that most boys don't have a strong desire for this kind of social connection. It can be really challenging for boys to be able to talk to girls like they're good girlfriends. It's so sad, but often a girl's greatest hope is that a boy will be an attentive listener. But he may just get bored and want to go back to playing games. This difference might also be the main reason why women are sometimes disappointed with their marriage partners throughout their lives. Men don't like to socialize as much as women do, and they don't crave long conversations as much, either. There's even a physiological reason for this! Testosterone is soaking up all the space in boys' brains. It's so interesting how testosterone can affect our brains! It's been shown that this hormone can actually reduce our interest in conversation and socialization unless it involves sports or sex.

We also just mentioned that the biggest source of stress in a girl's brain during puberty is the fear of losing relationships and the fear of lack of social support. It's so understandable! It's so interesting how the female brain is wired! It's designed to help us avoid social conflict and hold on to relationships. While males often enjoy conflict and competition, for females, conflict often triggers a cascade of negative chemical reactions in their bodies. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, restlessness, and fear. It's a natural response, but it's important to recognize that it can be overwhelming. This is why it can be so scary for teenage girls when they feel isolated, ostracized, or unable to fit into a small group at school.

And we can even explain this from an evolutionary perspective! It's pretty common knowledge that pressure and threats trigger the "fight or flight" response. But for our female ancestors, neither response was very effective. In the face of a larger male, it's likely that the "fight" response wouldn't have worked very well. If she was pregnant, breastfeeding, or had children to care for, the "flight" response wasn't really an option. So, the woman has to think of another way to get by, and that's by relying on her social relationships. If she's in a tight-knit group, she can turn to other women in the group for help. This is a pattern of behavior known as "caregiving and alliance," which is a great way to get through tough times together! It's so interesting how teenage girls have these intimate conversations in the school restroom! It's probably an automatic way of making and practicing these connections, which are written into the brain as a way of surviving alliances with the same sex.

Let's dive into the wonderful world of the mature female brain!

After exploring the fascinating inner workings of the teenage girl's brain, it's time to embark on a journey into the next stage of life and get to know the mature woman's brain.

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of the mature female brain. And, of course, we can't ignore the topic of love! Have you ever wondered what goes on in a woman's brain during a relationship?

It's totally normal for women to be more cautious in the early stages of a relationship than men. A study by the wonderful Eleanor McCombie at Stanford University shows that girls learn to distinguish between "real" and "fake" feelings earlier than boys do. By the time they reach adulthood, their amazing ability to read subtle emotional nuances in their tone of voice, eyes, and facial expressions is already well established. This makes total sense! Women are just more careful and slower than men to admit they are in love during the first weeks and months of a relationship. It's truly fascinating how our brains work! Did you know that the circuits in the male and female brain that are illuminated by falling in love are different? Women's brains are more active in the intuition, attention, and memory circuits, while men's are more active in the higher visual processing areas. This is why men are more likely to fall in love at first sight than women!

But when a woman does fall in love, something pretty amazing happens. The pathways in her brain that are responsible for careful and critical thinking shut down. In anthropologist Helen Fisher's fascinating research on falling in love, it was found that women, more than men, said they cared less about the faults of their loved ones. They also scored higher on tests of passionate love, which is really interesting!

It's fair to say that falling in love makes us all a little irrational! It's a state of the brain that affects both men and women. The authors say that when we're in the throes of love, our brains are similar to those of addicts. This is because the amygdala, which is our fear-alarm system, and the anterior cingulate gyrus cortex, which is responsible for worry and critical thinking, are turned down to extremely low levels of activity when our love circuitry is running at full speed. It's totally normal for couples to be really eager to be with each other when they're in the heat of the moment!

But don't worry! This brain state typically lasts only six to eight months, not forever. As the dopamine in the brain calms down and a woman begins to transition from the early romantic love state to the long-term partner state, the reward-happiness circuits dim and the attachment circuits come into play. These are the same brain circuits that are responsible for long-term commitment and maintaining intimate connections.

It might sound a little strange, but the state of romantic love is actually rekindled by the fear of losing a partner. It's a universal truth that when we're heartbroken, our brains go into overdrive trying to find our loved ones and think about how to get them back. This is true for both men and women. It might sound a bit strange, but it's true! A painful breakup really does activate the same brain circuits as a physical injury. So, next time you're feeling a bit "heartbroken", remember that your brain is just trying to tell you that you've been hurt.

Now that we've chatted about how love affects the female brain, let's dive a little deeper into the topic of female stereotypes.

A stereotype is a woman's sixth sense, or intuition. It's something we all have! The so-called "female intuition" is anything but an empty word! Intuition is so much more than just an emotional state. It's actually a physical sensation that transmits meaning to certain areas of the brain. When a woman feels like a moth is fluttering in her stomach or a tightening sensation in her intestines, her body sends messages to the insula and the anterior cingulate cortex. The anterior cingulate cortex is a key area for women because it's larger and more easily activated in us gals! It helps us anticipate, judge, control, and integrate negative emotions. It's thought that one of the reasons women are more intuitive is that they have a greater number of cells in their brains that are used to track bodily sensations. This makes them more capable of gut sensations and bodily pain sensations.

As we mentioned before, the female brain is really good at reading faces, recognizing tone of voice, and assessing emotional nuances. It's easy to imagine that when a woman asks her partner if he's cheating on someone else, her visual system starts intently scanning the other person's face and observing his emotional response. Is his face tense or relaxed? Is there any clenching of the corners of his mouth, sweetheart? It's amazing how our bodies and brains pick up on other people's emotions! When a woman sees a frown on someone's face, her own facial muscles automatically mimic it. This helps her understand how the other person is feeling. This process, which is known as "mirroring," is the result of mirror neurons. Some scientists even think that there might be more mirror neurons in the human female brain than in the male brain! Women are especially great at this kind of emotional mirroring, which is the secret to their amazing intuition!

Now, we're going to chat about another stereotype that we've all heard before: that women are more emotional. It's so sad when a woman cries out of the blue. Men often think, "Why is she crying all of a sudden?" But here's the thing: there's no crying without warning. It's just that men are less likely to recognize certain facial expressions like pouting, squinting, and twitching the corners of the mouth as a prelude to crying. Men don't always see this buildup of emotion, and that's okay!

It's true that men often don't notice subtle signs of sadness on a particular female face. In fact, they only pick up on these signs 40% of the time! Women, on the other hand, are much more attuned to these cues, with a 90% success rate. And it's not just adults who are sensitive to the pain of others. Even one-year-old girls are more aware of other people's emotions. So if a woman feels that her boyfriend is sometimes too mousy and ignores her sadness, it's probably not his intention, but he might not realize it either.

It's also interesting to note that the male and female brains process anger differently. Men tend to express anger and aggression more than women do. It's true that the male brain is wired differently than the female brain. The amygdala, which processes fear, anger, and aggression, is larger in size in the male brain than in the female. The prefrontal cortex, which controls anger, fear, and aggression, is larger in the female brain. This means that it's easier for men to express their anger. Guys have a lot more testosterone receptors in their amygdala, which makes them more sensitive to anger, especially after the testosterone surge that happens during puberty. This is why guys with high testosterone levels, especially young guys, have a shorter fuse when they get angry.

For women, even if she wants to express her anger right away, out of fear of retaliation and a conflict-averse nature, her female brain has developed an extra step in processing anger. This extra step is that her prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex hijacks the emotion before expressing it. It's like a stomach that regurgitates the anger. This extra step allows women to better understand and process their emotions.

While men's anger is like a lightning bolt that hits them right away, women's anger is like a slow-burning ember that needs time to be processed. It's like a fire that needs fuel to grow. Women's anger is expressed after it has been processed through the brain's intuition, anticipation that the conflict is causing pain, and verbal circuits. However, while a woman's process of acting out of anger is slower, once her language circuits, which are faster than a man's, kick in, she will utter a barrage of angry words. Men typically speak in fewer words and with less verbal fluency than women. This can be really frustrating for them! When they can't say what they want to say, it can turn into physical expression, which can lead to aggressive behavior.

Let's talk about another stereotype about women. Some people think that women always remember a lot of details, like when a couple is arguing. They say that women can remember a lot of little things that men don't even remember! It's not that women are "careful"—it's just that men and women store emotional memories differently.

Let me give you an example. If we think of the male brain as a country road and the female brain as a highway, we can see how the male and female brains process emotions differently. It's so interesting how our brains work, isn't it? Did you know that women use both sides of their brain to cope with emotional experiences, while men only use one side? A study at Stanford University found something really interesting! It turns out that when women look at emotional images, nine different brain regions light up. In men, only two regions do this. It's true! Women remember emotional events like first dates and heated arguments more vividly and for a longer period of time compared to men. For example, women usually remember the little details like what the other person was wearing on the first date, what the weather was like that day, and what kind of food they ate. Men, on the other hand, may have already forgotten these things.

The emotional gatekeeper for both sexes is the amygdala, and it's more likely to be activated by emotional nuances in women. It's amazing how our memories work! The more the amygdala responds to events like a romantic date or a heated argument, the more details are put into memory by the hippocampus, which is also relatively large in women. So, women have a stronger memory for all those lovely or not-so-lovely emotional experiences, and they can also remember lots of details that men can't.

It's a simple fact that women and men perceive, experience, react to, and remember emotions differently. And it's these differences, based on brain function, that contribute to many of the misunderstandings between the sexes. If we can be more aware of these differences, we can be more empathetic to each other when dealing with friends, coworkers, partners, and family members of the opposite sex. It's so important to be understanding of each other's experiences!

The Brain of Middle-Aged and Older Women

Now, let's take a peek at what happens in a woman's brain as she moves into this next stage of her life. So, what happens to our lovely brains when we reach middle age and old age?

In the book, the author tells the story of a wonderful woman named Sylvia. Sylvia is 54 years old, and she tells the author that since her 20s, she's spent most of her time taking care of other people. She's always been the one cooking, cleaning, and taking care of her husband and children at home. And lately, she's feeling more and more like she wants a change. She's not sure she wants to take care of or cook for anyone anymore, and she's even thinking about getting a divorce.

Sylvia's story is pretty common, actually. Instead of worrying about pleasing others, menopausal women want to please themselves. Sometimes, they even want to throw it all away and start over with a clean slate! This can be a confusing and overwhelming impulse for them, as well as for their husbands.

It's thought that this big change in our bodies might be the reason for this shift in our minds.

It's so interesting to learn that the average age for menopause is 51 and a half years old! As estrogen levels drop, so do her oxytocin levels. This can make her less inclined to care for others and less interested in the nuances of her emotions. She might also find it harder to keep the peace, as the dopamine rush she used to get from chatting with her friends diminishes. And she might not be as attentive to the personal needs of others. The "mommy brain circuitry" that had evolved over millions of years was finally free to do its thing!

Sylvia's husband noticed that she had changed. She stopped cooking for him, started arguing with him more often, and even wanted to move out! As Sylvia entered menopause, her body went through some changes. The ratio of testosterone to estrogen shifted, her anger pathways became more manly, anger wasn't "ruminated" first, and the calming effects of progesterone and oxytocin weren't enough to quell her anger. It's so sad, but studies have shown that women who are unhappy in their marriages are more likely to feel negative emotions and get sick during menopause. When the kids leave home and the hormones change, many women realize they're not as happy as they thought. They often blame their husbands for this, which is totally understandable!

It's so sad, but the statistics show that more than 65 percent of divorces after age 50 are initiated by women. The authors think that a lot of this might be because of the physical and mental changes that happen in women after menopause. Things that used to be really important to women, like having kids, relationships, approval, and making sure the family is together, might not be as important to them anymore. It's so interesting how the changes in our bodies affect our feelings about everyday life.

It's time to bust some myths about menopause! Many women are actually thriving during this time. For many, it's a time when they can be freer and more in control of their lives, which is a wonderful thing! The good news is that the burden of raising children is lessened, and the mommy brain, which has been so preoccupied with caregiving and nurturing, is weakened. As you move through menopause, you'll find that confusion and insecurity start to fade away. You'll also find that your survival is less dependent on a steady paycheck and less on trying to please others. Instead, you'll be able to live as your authentic and passionate self! It's so important for women to have fulfilling work and a sense of identity during this transition in life. Having a career you love can really help you feel happier and more fulfilled. Even if many women still have the joy of raising grandchildren, becoming a grandmother can bring new joy.

In the book, the author says that maybe life does save some of the best things for last.

We would have loved to go into more detail about the physical and psychological issues that can arise for women during and around menopause, but unfortunately we ran out of space! In her book, the author mentions that for many middle-aged and older women, hormone therapy can be used to help keep your mood nice and stable, and to help you focus and remember things better. Good news! Estrogen keeps blood vessels in the brain healthy. And there's more! Research suggests that starting estrogen replacement therapy early in menopause can reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease. The FDA kindly suggests that women experiencing menopausal symptoms take the lowest dose of hormones for the shortest amount of time possible. It's also a great idea to have a chat with your doctor who specialises in hormone therapy before you start using it.

And that's a wrap!

Well, that's all for now! I hope you found this book as interesting as I did.

Today, we've had the pleasure of exploring the fascinating world of the female brain. We've learned about its intricate structural, chemical, genetic, hormonal, and functional characteristics, as well as the amazing changes that take place in women's brains as they journey from birth, through maturity, and into aging. We've also discovered how these changes affect their thoughts and behaviors. The female brain is truly amazing! It has excellent verbal agility, a knack for building deep friendships, greater empathy, a knack for resolving conflict, and extraordinary intuition. It can read emotions and mental states from facial expressions and tone of voice. They all handle emotions like sadness and anger in different ways than men do, and they have stronger memories of the good and bad times in their lives. These wonderful characteristics make women more flexible, emotional, and longer-lived. But at the same time, they can make women's physical and mental health more challenging. Sometimes, women are more likely to be overly dependent on others and more prone to anxiety and worry. These differences in the basic structure and function of the brain are what make us all so wonderfully unique!

It's also important to remember that our biology plays a role in our personalities and behaviors, but it doesn't determine everything. Our thoughts and actions are still influenced by society, culture, and our own choices. In the words of the author, "Until now, women have had to adapt to a vast majority of cultures and languages in the world of work, trying to fit into a male world. It can be tough! Hopefully, this book will serve as a guide for women themselves, our husbands, fathers, sons, male coworkers, and male friends to understand the female mind and female biological behavior.