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I'm so excited to share with you today's book! It's called The Wisest One in the Room, which is pretty interesting, don't you think? I'd be remiss if I didn't mention another concept that goes hand-in-hand with wisdom: intelligence. I once heard a lovely saying that a person may be smart, but they may not be wise. When we're young, we're all about chasing after wisdom. But as we grow older, we start to see that there's something even more important and profound than intelligence: wisdom.
So, what exactly is wisdom? Have you ever wondered what the difference is between wisdom and intelligence? Right at the start of this book, the author shares a lovely story with us. That is to say, it was the late spring of 1944. The Allied forces were making final preparations for the Normandy landing. General Montgomery, the British commander of the Allied forces, was giving his final mission briefing to the officers leading the attack. His briefing is really clear about what they're aiming for, and he's given them all the information they need to get the job done. General Eisenhower, the supreme commander of the Allied forces, was so thoughtful that he didn't say a word. He simply paced the room, shaking hands deeply with every general in the room who was about to lead the attack, paying his last respects. He knew that many of them would not make it.
The author thinks that General Montgomery gave a great speech, but Eisenhower was the smartest man in the room. Even though he didn't say a word, he had a much deeper understanding of the officers on their way out and knew what move would best fulfill their psychological needs.
The author believes this is the biggest difference between intelligence and wisdom. Intelligence is all about getting things done in the best way possible. Wisdom, on the other hand, is about understanding people and what makes them tick. Intelligence is all about gathering information, processing it in a way that makes sense to you, and then coming to a reasonable conclusion. Wisdom is all about understanding other people's feelings and motives, acting in a way that's in line with human nature, and finding the best solution for everyone involved. If you want to do great things, you can't just be smart—you have to be wise, too!
Today, we're going to dive into how you can become a wise person, right here and now! This book was written by two authors who are absolute experts in American psychology. One is Thomas Gilovich, a professor of psychology at Cornell University in the United States. He used to work with the Nobel Prize winner, the famous behavioral economist Daniel Kahneman, on a long-term project. The other is Lee Ross, a professor of psychology at the University of Denver.
They believe that psychology is a great way to become wise because it helps us understand human nature. But, as we all know, psychology is such a vast field that it's challenging to fully understand it all. So, these two scholars were really interested in finding out which key psychological factors have the most pervasive influence on human behavior. They studied lots of scientific experiments and did a lot of research on their own. They finally came up with five basic psychological states of human beings, which they called the five pillars of wisdom. These five pillars are a great way to understand ourselves better, deal with conflicts with others, and see social events in a new light. They'll help you live a more open and aware life! I know some parts of these five pillars are similar, so today we're going to distill them down to four in this listening book.
After reading the whole book, I feel like if you've been exposed to some psychological knowledge, you probably know about these psychological states already, but we might not realize how crucial they are. That's what makes this book so special! Two psychologists used their authority to endorse a key point, which is pretty rare. This book also uses its pages to bring together the very best that the field of psychology has to offer.
In this listening, I'm so excited to share these four pillars of wisdom with you! I've broken them down into two categories, which I'm excited to share with you! The first category is all about how we recognize the world around us. The second category is about how we generate action. I really hope that after listening to this book, you'll feel like the wisest person in the room, just like the title says!
I. Let's dive in and explore how we recognize the world!
Objectivity is just an illusion, my friend. Let's dive right in and explore the first part of the book together: how do we know the world? Let's start with the first piece of the puzzle, the foundation of wisdom that will help us recognize a universal psychological trap.
Right at the start of this section, the author takes us through a fun mind-reading game. Let me ask you, if you are listening to the book at the moment, in your heart of hearts, do you not often feel that those who look at things more optimistically and aggressively than you are so idealistic and even a little naïve? And those who look at things more conservatively and traditionally than you do seem out of touch with modern life and not brave enough? I know I do!
The author says he thinks this description will be spot on for you because it applies to almost everyone. It's human nature to use our own thoughts as a kind of objective standard to determine which state the other person is in. As a comedian once said, "Have you ever noticed that anyone who drives slower than you is a bit silly, and anyone who drives faster than you is a little crazy?"
And the first thing we can learn from this is to be careful not to fall into this trap ourselves. This is a really important message, and it's all wrapped up in one simple phrase: "What you call objectivity is your illusion." The author says that we humans are naturally self-centered and believe that what we perceive is the objective truth. We all know that our opinions are subjective, but we might not realize that the facts as we see them are also subjective.
When we see that apples are red, oceans are blue, and the McDonald's logo is yellow, we assume that's just how things are. We don't think about how it's actually a result of the interplay between the qualities of the object itself and the functioning of our sensory system. We often say that dogs are colorblind because they can't see the same richness of colors that we do. But we never say we are odor-blind, even though our sense of smell can detect far fewer odors than a dog's. Isn't that something? We turn on the faucet, feel the water is hot, and immediately think, "Oh my, how did the last person tolerate the heat so well?" And it never even crosses our minds that we might be more used to the cold than we think!
It's just part of what makes us human! We naturally perceive the world through our eyes, and we see it as it is. This tendency is what researchers call "naive realism." We all are, bless our hearts!
So, you might be wondering, what's wrong with this way of seeing things? Of course, when everyone sees the same facts in the same way, there's no real problem. However, when there's a big difference between two sides' understanding of the facts, especially when people have different ideas about some of the key issues, like what justice really is or who's responsible for the problem, it can lead to conflict between two people, two groups, or even two countries, each with its own view of the facts.
Do you remember the protests in the United States back in 2009? A researcher conducted an experiment and showed the participants a clip of a real clash between protesters and police at the time. The lovely researchers told the participants that the protesters were upset about the fact that abortion isn't free. It was really interesting to see how the participants saw different facts depending on their views on abortion. It's so interesting to see how our perceptions can differ depending on our views. In this experiment, three-quarters of those who were in favour of women's freedom to have abortions saw the protesters being blocked by the police and saw the protesters' expressions of distress. But here's where it gets interesting. Only one-quarter of the participants who were more conservative about a woman's right to abortion saw the protesters blocked in the doorway by the police. And fewer still saw a screaming expression on the protesters' faces.
It's so interesting how our minds work, isn't it? Even when we're looking at the same image, we notice different things depending on our point of view. It's so hard to talk about rationality and objectivity when two sides are arguing and even the facts they see are different!
It's also been shown that when we're trying to make a point, we tend to remember the facts that support our view, while forgetting the ones that don't. One study looked at how people remember music from different decades. It was found that folks who love sixties music think of the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, and other popular musicians when they think of sixties music. Those who loved the '80s gave a totally different example. When they think of sixties music, they think of lesser-known musicians, while when they think of eighties music, they think of popular musicians like Michael Jackson.
Just imagine for a moment that these two sides got into an argument. They both threw out cases that they believed to be true in their own eyes. What do you think would be the result? It's so sad to think that neither side would be able to convince the other. They'd just be talking to themselves, and the differences would only get bigger and bigger.
The author believes that to be a wise person, it's important to have the ability to look beyond this "naive realism." It's so important to be able to approach social conflicts with a more mature mindset. We should all try to see the impact of subjectivity on both sides and not blindly take sides. On the other hand, when it comes to dealing with conflicts, they're able to hold back their subjective assumptions and try to restore the whole picture as much as possible through really thorough research.
What's more, they're great at stepping into other people's shoes and seeing things from their perspective, which helps them form a more well-rounded view. Abraham Lincoln had this lovely saying, "I don't like the man, so I must understand him better." Have you ever tried putting yourself in someone else's shoes to see the world through their eyes? It's a great way to understand what's really going on. You might find that what you thought was true is actually influenced by your own point of view. The other person is not unbelievable. They just have a different perspective than you. It would be really great if you could sit down and have a good conversation.
Humans are amazing! We actively create meaning. We just mentioned that the first pillar of wisdom is the problem that human beings' subjective perception of things can cause. And now, let's explore some of the wonderful benefits of humans knowing the world subjectively. I'd like to introduce the second pillar of wisdom.
I'm sure you've heard this lovely saying before: "Human beings are creatures suspended on their own woven web of meaning." This lovely quote comes from the famous sociologist, Max Weber. And the second pillar of wisdom is similar to this quote, which says that we humans are really good at creating meaning for things!
I'd like to start with a very special experiment. You might have heard of it! There's a famous game theory experiment called the Prisoner's Dilemma. Two suspects are interrogated separately. If they both remain silent, they'll be convicted of a misdemeanor. But if they accuse each other, then both will be convicted of a felony. In the world of economics, researchers use this model to show us how important trust is when we're working together. Psychologists, though, have built on this experiment with a new twist.
The psychologists were really interested to see if changing the name of the Prisoner's Dilemma game would have an effect on the outcome. So they let half of the lovely people taking part in the experiment know that they were playing a community-based game, while they told the other half that they were playing the Wall Street game. Guess what! It turned out that the name of the game had a strong influence on the participants' decision to cooperate or betray. It's so inspiring to see how those who thought they were playing a community-based game doubled the number of times they chose to cooperate compared to those who thought they were playing a Wall Street game!
The researchers say that the word "community" makes us think of cooperation, while "Wall Street" makes us think of competition. We humans are such imaginative creatures! The name of a game can really influence how we imagine it, and that can in turn influence how we act. In other words, the name of the game helped the participants to think about the game in different ways, which then influenced their behavior.
It's also been found that parents who have invested so much in raising their children don't feel resentful at all. They feel so grateful for their children's growth and development, which they see as the most rewarding thing in their lives. On the other hand, when this group of parents receives the financial rewards of their children, they feel less relief. The researchers think this is also down to how people make sense of things. This group of hardworking parents found a wonderful way to make the event of raising their children meaningful. They were really happy about this sense of meaning and felt really proud of what they were doing. On the other hand, though, the financial rewards kind of take away from this meaning.
It's so important for us humans to be able to construct meaning! For sociologist Max Weber, it's a wonderful thing because it helps us to grow as people. It encourages us to use our full potential and to work towards a bright future. And it's so important for us all to become intelligent people! We need to learn how to use the power of meaning construction to help us on our way. By influencing your own or others' meaning constructs, you can guide yourself or others to act in the direction you want to go.
And you might be wondering, how exactly does one do that? The author says that wise people will know how to use language to construct meaning for things. So, they'll pay extra attention to their language expressions. Have you ever noticed that when we describe something, we're unconsciously assigning meaning to it? Take a moment to think about it. Why do we call the military administration "the Department of Defense" instead of "the War Department"? I wonder if we should call the behavior of adults receiving gifts from their parents "nibbling" or "bonding"? At first glance, they all sound pretty similar, don't they? It's really quite fascinating how different names can reveal different constructions of meaning!
Then again, how should we describe our work? Have you ever heard the classic story of the three craftsmen stacking stones? The first one says that he is doing boring work. The second one says that he is supporting his family. And the third one says that he is building a church! It's so interesting how the meaning of the work constructed by these three expressions is quite different!
A wise person is someone who knows how to choose their words carefully, and that's how they build their influence. As we like to say in the first pillar of wisdom, objectivity is a bit of an illusion. Sometimes, we have to be careful and remove the falsehoods. We have to avoid falling into this illusion. But, there are also times when we can use this illusion to our advantage. We can use it to construct meaning and guide our behavior.
And then, how can we get things moving?
Human behavior isn't driven by goals, but by situations. We've already shared the two pillars of wisdom, which help us recognize the world around us. Alright, now let's dive into the second part, which is all about how we can inspire people to take action! In this part, we're going to have a little adventure together to figure out the underlying code of human behavior.
If I were to ask you, what do you think drives human behavior? You might immediately think of things like goals or the different personalities of each individual. But the authors say we can sometimes be a little bit blind to the subtle influence that context has on our behaviour. The third piece of wisdom is that human beings are not driven to action by goals, but by situations.
We'll often hear that those close to someone who's done something wrong, like a murder or a scandal, are really surprised. It's so easy to see someone as kind and gentle, and it's hard to imagine that they could ever do something wrong. The author suggests that this may not be because the person can pretend, but rather that their character is not bad. In this particular scenario, the situational factors subtly induced an evil in his human nature. This kind of situation may not necessarily be a threat or coercion, but it could be some subtle changes in the situation that have a huge impact on the person's behavior.
There was once an experiment in which college students played the roles of prison guards and inmates and lived in a prison. In this particular situation, the student who played the role of a prison guard gradually became more and more brutal, while the student who played the role of a prisoner became more passive and obedient. This experiment really shows us how quickly situations can change how we act and how we feel.
It's amazing how situations can influence our behavior in such positive and negative ways! Some researchers have been looking into why organ donation rates are so different in different countries. The researchers initially thought that it might have something to do with the moral quality of the nation, but later realized that the rate of donation depended on a particularly subtle factor: the way in which the donation was participated in. In some countries, it's as simple as being considered a donor unless you say otherwise. In others, you have to actively choose to donate. The researchers made an amazing discovery! They found that countries that require people to opt out have a nearly 100% donation rate. In contrast, countries that require people to opt in have a much lower rate of only 15%. It's pretty amazing how a simple difference in the default options offered by giving policies can make such a big difference! It all comes down to the context in which the choice to give is made.
This is why the authors believe that an intelligent person is a field theorist. It's all down to context! It's always a good idea to take a step back and think about why someone might be acting a certain way. It's not just about what they've done in the past or who they are, but also about what's going on in their life right now. We all have our moments! Even less intelligent people can sometimes be blinded by situationally constructed illusions and make attributional errors.
Let's take a look at another study like this one, shall we? The study asked participants to ask other people questions. The questions could be cold and tricky, and the better, the better! For example, can you guess who invented the transistor? Who played the janitor in that movie you liked so much? Then, the researcher asked the folks who answered the questions about what they thought of the questioner's intellectual background. The respondents all agreed that the questioner had an amazing talent for learning new things and that they knew something so interesting! But is this really true? In this experiment, the questioner is in a unique position, standing in the context of their own knowledge. This puts him in a great position to have lots of interesting things to share! It's probably just a lucky guess that the questioner knows something about a specific topic. Or maybe he saw a question on TV the night before and remembered it. It's just his station that makes it seem like he has a lot of knowledge. So, an intelligent person would take a moment to think before jumping to conclusions about this person. It's always good to remember that we don't know everything about someone's situation.
So, what we've talked about so far is the first part of contextual theory, which is all about helping us see people more objectively. And there's more to situation theory than that! Given how much context affects how we act, couldn't we use some small context cues to influence how we and others behave? Absolutely! We're going to dive into the classic theory of boosting.
Boosting is a great way to use situational power to guide the right behavior! Simply put, it's about creating open pathways for the behavior you're encouraging to make it easy to achieve, and setting up roadblocks for the action you want to discourage to make it difficult to act on. For example, if you want to drink more water, why not treat yourself to a lovely sports water bottle and put it somewhere you'll see it every day? If you want to make yourself eat less sweets, you can try getting smaller packages of sweets, using a smaller spoon for sweets, and so on.
The author says that the secret to accomplishing great things for a wise person is not by willpower, but by creating a favorable situation for change, a smooth pathway to get the ball rolling first. Some folks might think that boosting this kind of method is just a small trick, but today we know that it taps into the most basic psychological state of human beings. It's a pretty powerful solution, and it's something we should all pay attention to!
Do your best to act in a way that aligns with your beliefs, even if you're not 100% convinced yet.
Oh, I know we just mentioned that context has a subtle effect on a person's behavior, but I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page! It's so interesting how our actions can affect how we see things, and even how we see ourselves! And now, we're going to share the fourth and final pillar of wisdom from this reading. It's a lovely idea, and it goes like this: people don't act because they believe, they believe because they act.
We often think that people act a certain way because they first have certain thoughts in their minds. But there's another way of looking at it. It's that our behavior happens first, and then our minds kick in and trigger the corresponding thoughts or emotions.
Take a moment to think about it. We all have experiences in our lives that match up perfectly! When we deliberately pick up the pace, our emotions become positively charged! There's also a lovely saying, "Fake it till you make it." Fake it till you make it, and then you really make it! This also means that when you go out and do a certain thing, your perception of yourself really changes a little bit, which is pretty cool! Another lovely phenomenon is that when you give more to a cause, you take that cause more seriously. And the more you give to a person, the more you think you like that person! The wonderful thing about all of this is that our actions shape our thoughts.
And guess what? This idea is backed up by lots of experiments! I'd love to give you an example from the book. A researcher found something really interesting. When a person was asked to push their hand outward while doing a certain task, they rated the task lower because pushing outward made them feel more resistant to the task.
So, what can we do with this knowledge? It gives us a helpful guide to understanding ourselves better and making positive changes. If you're looking to shift your mood or perception, rather than just soothing yourself or convincing yourself, why not try changing your behavior? For example, if you want to feel better about yourself, why not try making a smiling face first? If you want to make yourself love something, you should first devote yourself to doing it. It's important to put all kinds of thoughts aside, both positive and negative, and then just move forward. As you go about your day, your thoughts and behaviors will naturally change.
This theory is really interesting because it suggests that our actions can actually shape how we think. It gives us a whole new way of understanding ourselves and others. In the past, we might have thought that judging a person's heart through their behavior was a bit superficial and inaccurate. However, based on the theory of "behavior determines cognition," the best way to judge a person's heart is through their behavior. Let's say you're not sure if you like someone, but you find yourself chatting with them and thinking about them when you have something fun to do. It's a good sign! It might be time to give them a chance. Let's say you're not sure what kind of work you'd like to do. That's okay! You can just observe yourself and see what you enjoy spending your time and energy on. That thing is what you like to do, my friend!
You know, it's so much easier to figure out what someone is thinking and feeling by paying attention to their behavior. It's like a key that fits perfectly into a lock. Instead of getting lost in a maze of confusing emotions, you can simply and directly infer their thoughts and feelings by observing their actions. Because we all know that our behavior has a huge impact on our cognition.
And so we come to the end of our journey together! We have now completed our introduction to the four pillars of wisdom, and this book is now ready for you to take with you. The book is called The Wisest Person in the Room, and it's all about how you can become a wise person, too! The author is kind enough to share four pillars of wisdom and four of the most common psychological states of human beings. We could talk about so much more in the field of psychology, but these four mental states are the core truths that we really need to focus on.
The first pillar of wisdom says, "Objectivity is an illusion." The second pillar says something really interesting: "Humans actively create meaning." Both of these pillars really highlight the fact that we humans are creatures of immense subjectivity. And this subjectivity works both ways, my friend! On the one hand, it can lead to some disagreements, which is totally normal! It's a great reminder to remove any falsehoods and avoid getting too caught up in subjectivity. On the other hand, it gives us the amazing ability to construct meaning. It's so important to use this amazing ability to achieve our goals! The third pillar of wisdom says something really interesting: context influences behavior! The fourth pillar says something really interesting: "Behavior determines perception." Both of these pillars help us to understand that human behavior is actually pretty complex. It's so sensitive to context, and its effect on our brain's thinking is beyond anything we can imagine!
In fact, we can understand these four pillars of wisdom as four models of thinking. We always say that people need to master multiple thinking models in order to handle problems with ease, and these four pillars are a great place to start! Today, let's put these four thinking models into the toolbox, and when you encounter problems in the future, especially those related to people, remember to take these models out and use them. Let yourself become more intelligent!
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